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17th of August 2018

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Expect Nothing & Don’t Fall: 10 Tips for Conscious Loving - The Good Men Project

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—1. Don’t fall

Falling in love is so 1980. If you really want to experience real love, walk in with your eyes wide shut and your heart splayed like a starfish. While your hormones are raging, keep an open mind. Feel your way through. And be honest, with you and your partner. If you keep it 100% from the start, you will still be in love when the fog clears from your rose-colored glasses.

2. Do tell

If you love someone, tell them that you love them. Keeping it to yourself will only make you lovesick.

3. Expect nothing

Your loving someone is not about how much they can love you in return. If you love someone, really and truly…you will love them anyway, even if they don’t love you back.

4. Make room

You cannot love someone fully if there is no space. If there is a story that you need to unpack, unpack it. Love is expansive, it needs lots of room to grow.

5. Give it your all

Halfway love only leads to lackluster fulfillment. If you really want to feel it, you gotta go all in. Holding love in creates tension, for you and the other person. Letting it all hang out, that’s where the magic happens.

6. Be imperfect

Love is messy. People fuck up and disappoint, but it’s okay because love is resilient. And it’s quirky and strange too. Perfection is a myth, but imperfection is a given. Go with it.

7. Don’t look back

The past is behind you. And that means it’s behind your partner too. Whatever happened, happened. There were lovers who came before you, accept it. Comparison only works in arithmetic.

8. Redefine forever

Sometimes forever is today. While planning for a future with your love is great, the real beauty of love is always happening in the here and now.

9. It’s a verb

Love is experiential. It’s not the word, it’s the deed. Love feels like something because love looks like something. It is meant to be expressed. Whatever love language your lover responds to…do more of that, you won’t be sorry.

10. R.E.S.P.E.C.T

The only thing more important than love is respect. Unions built on the foundation of respect have much greater success rates. Because love can be fickle, it waxes and wanes, constantly. Trust me, respect is a lot more consistent.

This post was originally published on the author’s facebook page, and is republished here with her permission.

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Photo credit: John Schnobrich on Unsplash

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